middle of the night thoughts...

It's the middle of the night and Jadyn and i are awake. Why? Because our schedules are still wonky and we both fell asleep about 6 pm here. Womp womp wooommmp. Lol

So, let me share my middle of the night thoughts....

Thankful....

-I'm thankful the Lord has given us this opportunity to come to Beijing and experience history, cultural, food, etc. 

-I'm thankful and most excited to go see the Great Wall on Sunday. I'm excited to walk on it, touch those stones of ages old and be in wonder of it ... in person 

- I'm thankful we brought Jadyn and she's experiencing it all with us. She has been so good and a trooper and I am enjoying time with just her. It's been nearly 8 years since it was "just" her, so I'm appreciating this time while purposely trying NOT to think about my other 2 heartbeats on the other side of the world and the one heartbeat just a short plane ride away. 

- I'm thankful this time is going fast. (it's Saturday!!!) Because although this is neat being in BJ, I would like to just fast forward and get my daughter, please, so we can go home and I can have my family all complete. 

- I am so thankful that my best friend and better half is with me and we are doing together. We make a great team, he and I. I am thankful he is laying next to me on what feels like a full-sized little bed and he's snoring away while I type this. I am thankful that no matter which way we sleep, we are touching, because again, I'm pretty sure this is a full-sized bed. Being near him is calming to me. I love him and am thankful we are doing life together. 

- I'm thankful for all of you, for our family and friends who are praying for us, and just as eagerly awaiting our home coming. I miss you. 

- and a confession.... I miss my boys. I miss their voices, their hugs, their giggles and even their bickering. I miss Asher asking me to sit on the couch and cuddle and watch cartoons together. I miss Eli giving me his shy smile, ducking his head, opening his arms and coming in for a hug with momma. I miss them so much that I choke up and have to fight becoming a crying mess in the middle of the buffet breakfast or the taxi ride or middle of the night thinking. But I am thankful they are at home (another confession), because they would have been bored so many times and restless and quite vocal about it- and we aren't even to the adoption appointments part of this yet!  Jay and I know the boys staying home was definitely the right choice and we are glad it has worked out this way.  But I miss them terribly and I'm (trying not to but can't help it) counting down til we are back in DFW and I can scoop them up in my arms!

- I am thankful for Andrea Johnson Brown who has made herself fit so willingly and selflessly into our family. I am thankful for her precious kiddos who are going with the flow so cheerfully and doing life under a different roof for a couple of weeks. I love that Colt and Sadie have such big hearts. They come by it through great parents. Andrea and Jim Brown are two of the most giving and serving people I know. 

- I am thankful that wherever I go, the Lord my God is with me. ❤️