Chosen and Loved, even when life is rough

I intentionally selected this shirt for Annika to wear today.  Our precious girl has been processing a lot lately and dealing with inner turmoil.  She has started to let out anger at times too. Sometimes, as a parent, I get caught up in the behaviors of my children and find myself getting frustrated with them....and I forget to take a step back and assess what's REALLY going on with them.  Adopting Annika has helped me change my perspective more often with ALL of my children and to be a better parent.... When I change my perspective, that helps me to walk with her through hers. So many emotions and so much change for her little world..... she has so much to process and grieve and even re-learn... and we are here to walk through it together. 

She is a joy, she is a part of our family... Chosen and dearly loved.

Tomorrow, we have an appointment with her ENT doctor to go over the results from her CT and MRI scans last week and discuss what needs to happen next.

ears

It's been a long day and it was a bseh early start. But, Annika did well today for her outpatient procedure and tests and and we were headed home from the hospital by 12:45 this afternoon. We will meet with her ENT doctor in the next week or two to go over her CT and MRI. He told us that there is quite a bit of damage in both her inner ears. She has canal cholosteatomas (destructive skin growth and tumors) in both ears.  The CT and MRI will show us how extensive, but we are looking at canal reconstruction for both her ears along with surgery to remove the cholosteatomas in her middle ears.  Annika's doctor believes this is something she has had since she was a baby and has gone unnoticed and untreated all this time.

Jay and I have been talking to two leading doctors who are the best of the best in Ear Reconstruction. Each and every surgery/procedure Annika needs will go hand in hand with her eventual ear construction. So, our ENT doctor will be in close communication with the doctor who does Annika's ears. 

Lots of doctors, appointments and procedures... all for one VERY special little girl. 💗

We have quite the road ahead of us, but we know the Lord is with us and He has all of this in His hands.

Dedication Sunday and 2 months home!

Thankful....

Today, we had the privilege to stand before our church body and loved ones to thank everyone for helping us to bring our precious little girl home. We got to introduce her to all who hadn't met her yet. 

Thank you to our parents, my little sister and friends for being there this morning. That meant a lot to me. 

As I sat in church this morning, next to my parents, it brought back memories of growing up in church with them. It's been a long time since I sat next to them and it was a really nice feeling to be once again next to them in a church service. Thank you, mom and dad, for setting such a godly example and instilling in me a love for the Lord and serving Him.  I am thankful I had the opportunity to grow up in church and learning about God's love for me.  

We are thankful for our Pastor who is very dear to my heart. He is the one who married Jay and I nearly 11 years ago, and over the last 9 years he has dedicated and prayed over each of our children after they were born. Today, I am thankful he did the same today for our Annika. ❤ 

Words cannot express how thankful we are to the Grimmers who started up the Adoption Support Ministry at our church. They and the people in it have become family to us.  We are thankful for so many friends and family who came or watched online today. Kelly Murphy, thank you for coming and being there. You are a ray of sunshine, my friend! 

---

1 year and 3.5 days ago....

 

Exactly 1 year and 3.5 days ago, we first inquired for more info about "Bridget". I had already been looking at adoptable children since before Oct 2015. Some time in January 2016, I came across and saved "Bridget's" profile along with a few others children. I inquired about a small handful of others, but I always kept coming back to this little girl's profile, reading it....re-reading it.... praying... reading it again, poring over the picture, trying to "read" her facial expression and wondering what she was thinking in that moment....and then, on Feb. 2, 2016, I reached out and inquired for more information about the child who would become our daughter forever before the year 2016 was over.  

I'm so glad I clicked that button saying tell me more.... I'm thankful the Lord drew me repeatedly back to her.... I am so glad she's ours. 

On Sunday, Feb. 12, on her 2 month anniversary of her gotcha day and joining our family, we will give thanks and dedicate our daughter to the Lord in front of our church body. If you're nearby, we'd love for you to join us....

Calvary Chapel Fort Worth 

5617 S Diamond Oaks Dr

Fort Worth, TX 76117

10:45 am service 

#wecouldhavemissedthis

#inquiriescanbeawkward

#adoptingannika

#hashtagsarefun #soisridingthekrogerhorse

 

 

Hearing!

Yesterday, Annika had her 2nd hearing test which confirmed she has moderate hearing loss in both ears. The audiologist was wonderful and we discussed options on hearing devices, school accommodations, costs, and more. We meet tomorrow with the next ENT specialist and will decide which hearing device we will go with and then the audiologist will get them ordered. One of the decisions Jay and I will decide with the help of the ENT doctor is whether to implant the hearing devices now or later, and if we decide to do it later, then Annika will wear what’s called a soft band, which is a stretchy headband that the hearing devices click on to and rest on her head. There are so many decisions to make and Jay and I want to make sure we proceed carefully and do our homework thoroughly before making any surgical decisions. THE highlight of the appointment was Annika getting to try on a softband BAHA (hearing aid). Annika is NOT a headband kind of person and she was not at all thrilled about the animal-print headband. But, once the device was turned on, she got to hear for the first time in a way she never has! While she was wearing the BAHA, we went back into the soundproof booth and the audiologist performed another hearing test on Annika, this time through the speakers instead of headphones. I watched her expression and teared up as she heard my voice and responded. Then, as she responded to each sound or voice she heard at a soft whisper, I cried silent tears of joy for my little girl. 

Please pray for us as we navigate our way in the medical world and make decisions for Annika. Pray we make the right decisions for her and with her. She’s been a trooper and her world has already changed so much. She continues to thrive and grow. Her English is slowly increasing and every day I’m amazed at a new word or phrase that comes out of her mouth. 

I could spend hours writing about all the special moments and people in Annika's life! I could literally fill a book! But for now, let me highlight her buddy, Pierce. He is in Annika's class and he is one of her best buds. This kid has been through a lot in his little life. He and his precious family have known loss and heartache, but you''d never guess that when meeting him. He is one of THE most loving, kindest and passionate kids you'll ever meet. He's funny and he is one of Eli's and now Annika's favorite friends. Pierce has welcomed Annika into his school and class without hesitation and he continually shows her the love of Christ and friendship. God is using Pierce as one of the pieces of the puzzle of Annika's life, and I am so thankful for him (and his godly family). Because Annika had to leave school early yesterday for her hearing appointment, her incredible teacher let Annika and Pierce go in the hall and toss the football for a few minutes.... just so Annika wouldn't completely miss out on one the favorite parts of her day: playing football with her buddy, Pierce. 😍 Made. Annika's. Day. Melted my heart. 

<3
February 12th marks Annika’s 2 month home anniversary! Since it falls on a Sunday, we have chosen that day as the perfect opportunity to officially introduce her to our church body and dedicate her to the Lord. As so many of you have walked with us and supported us in our adoption journey, our church body has been just as amazing (remember our Family Play Day we had back in October? Our church body helped us raise thousands of dollars that day!) We want to stand before our church and say thank you, introduce her, and our Pastor will pray over our family. The ceremony itself only lasts a few minutes, but it is a big occasion and one near and dear to my heart. Our Pastor has prayed over our first 3 babies and presented them with a small New Testament Bible, which I have saved and treasure to this day. It means the world to me that he would also pray over our 4th child, no matter how old she is when she came to us. <3

God is good!

Certificate of Citizenship

Her official Certificate of Citizenship arrived today! 🇺🇸 I look at her picture below and I remember the day we took it in the last days of our time in Guangzhou. Even then, her facial expression is hardened, dazed and unsure.... a stranger still in so many ways, not sure of what her future holds and scared more than she let on. How far she has come in 6 weeks! 

 

Tomorrow, we go for her BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) hearing evaluation (momma got things done today on the phone!) and pick up the CD of her CT scan. Her hearing evaluation will take about 1.5 hours.  We meet with the ENT specialist on Thursday to go over hearing aid options and decide which device is best for her and talk about future plans on our road to ear construction and hearing.  It is an eventful week! :-)

Charity

****LONG POST ALERT****

One of the many things Jay and I knew going into our adoption process for Annika was that we were going to have some short-term but costly medical expenses to correct and reconstruct her ears and also correct her lazy eyes. Insurance is wonderful and we are VERY thankful to have it, but we knew we are also going to have lots of co-pays and our portion of medical costs for awhile. But, we also knew that the Lord had called us to adopt this precious little girl and that she was ours. So, when we stepped out in faith for the Lord to provide all the funds needed to bring her home (which He did!), we also stepped out, trusting He'd also provide everything she's going to need when she's home. 

Last August, Eli needed a minor outpatient procedure done. It was a sensitive and private area and to save him from embarrassment, we didn't post about it on social media. (The procedure went great and Eli is fine.) What I also didn't post about was that because we were in the adoption process, our finances were tight and we did not have all the money needed to pay our part of his surgery. The day of his procedure, as we checked in at the hospital, they asked us for payment, and we had to ask about a payment plan. We literally used $50 out of our weekly grocery money to put a deposit down that day. The lady in Registration kindly offered that we could also apply for Charity to see if we could get some assitance to help with medical costs. She said if we wanted to do that, then we could come back downstairs after Eli went in to surgery and ask to talk to the Financial person and fill out an application for assistance. 

Do you know how embarrassing and humbling it is to admit you need help? To ask for CHARITY? Jay and I looked at each other and we ALMOST said nah, we're okay. We'll figure something out. We'll put it on a credit card or something. Anything other than admitting we don't have the money to pay for our son's minor surgery. Anything but admitting that we don't have any extra money sitting around right now, saved up for such a time as this. Anything but admitting that we are CHOOSING to walk in faith and obedience of what the Lord had called us to do and adopt without going into major debt. Anything but swallowing our pride, humbling ourselves, and saying yes, we would like to apply for assistance. We almost said no thank you. Almost. But, we didn't. Because the love we have for our son - for all of our children- outweighs how we were feeling in that moment. As parents, we will do anything we can to get our children the help they need. So, we swallowed our pride, and when Eli went back for surgery, I made the (embarrassing) walk to the Financial office and asked if I could apply for financial assistance. As the Financial Rep asked me questions, I explained that we wouldn't normally need to ask, but that we were in the midst of adopting our little girl and all our extra money had been going to pay for the expenses. I explained that no, times aren't always this tough and it was only for a season. She congratulated us on our upcoming adoption, had me fill out a basic form and then said she would be in touch once the Board met and had decided if we qualified for charity. I thanked her for her time and went to join Jay waiting for Eli to come out of his procedure. 

Weeks later, we received notification from Cook Children's Hospital that we had been approved for charity and all our expenses were 100% covered for Eli's surgery. We also received reimbursement checks in the mail for what we had already paid! PRAISE THE LORD!!! OUR DEBT WAS FORGIVEN and Eli had gotten the medical help he needed! I cried tears of joy and Jay and I were full of thankfulness at the Lord's provision. And we had no idea that our Heavenly Father's goodness did not stop there....

Life has continued on since then and we have had a full schedule of doctor appointments, vision appointments, and just a busy life when you have four kids! December and January have been a blur of travel, adoption, getting settled in, and getting Annika's medical and vision needs met. Then this morning happened.... I took Annika into our pediatrician to have an ear canal looked at that was draining pus yesterday. As I was checking us in, the receptionist was asking me questions, confirming if all our info was still the same (same address, same phone number, insurance, etc). Then she said, “And I see you have Charity so you’re good and she's checked in”. I had been watching Annika make her way to a kids' computer when the receptionist said that and I turned from looking at Annika to stare at her... “What? OH! Yes, we applied for Charity when our son needed surgery and we were going through the adoption process and money was tight. That covered his surgery for us.” The receptionist then cheerfully said, “Ah. It covers everything Cook Children’s related and it shows it is good through October of this year.” The shock on my face was apparent as I said, “For all of my children?” “Yup” was her response. I then point to Annika as I say, “Even for all of surgeries and procedures she will be having?!?!” The receptionist smiled as she said, “as long as it’s Cook Children’s-related, it’s 100% covered.” I was all choked up as I realized what God already knew.... HE IS FAITHFUL TO PROVIDE! I croaked out a thank you and walked over to my daughter as we waited our turn to be called to see the pediatrician. I sat there in amazement at the Lord's continued hand in our lives as I realized all the appointments I've taken Annika and even Jadyn (her well visit) to lately that were at Cook Children's facilities and no co-pay was asked of me. I sat there in awe as I thought about all the appointments we are going to have between now and October and all the ones that are Cook Children's-related are COVERED! HOW GOOD IS OUR GOD????!!! How faithful is our Father? He is FULLY faithful to and able to provide ALL that we need! 

Not all of Annika's appointments, surgeries and procedures are going to be able to be through Cook Children's (i.e. her ear reconstruction will be elsewhere), BUT, that's okay. I'm not worried. God has provided every step of the way thus far and He continues to do so. He meets every need we have, whether it's an anonymous donation, or dinners provided for a couple of weeks, or a short term side job that comes up, or charity ... HE provides. Because, He knows what we need... before the need even arises. And I pray that every person who has given to our family... in action, in money, in time, in food... however it's been.... the Lord has used you to help us, to bless us.... I pray that the Lord will bless you a 100 times over in return! I pray that everyone who has contributed to the Charity fund at Cook Children's... however that works...that the Lord will bless them. I am in awe and humbled and overwhelmed with His Goodness. 

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
Luke 11:13

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:25

To God be the glory....